Rolling with Resistance in Domestic Abuse Interventions

By Lee Eifflaender

Rolling with resistance is a key technique used in motivational interviewing that can increase a Service User’s level of motivation to change. It aims to do this by avoiding direct confrontation or arguing with the Service User when they express resistance. Instead, rolling with resistant prompts us to acknowledge and explore the Service Users concerns and enables them to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This approach recognises that resistance is a natural part of the change process, so it is counterproductive to attempt to force or persuade someone to change. 

Implementing the “Roll with Resistance” approach requires a recognition of where the where the Service User is on their change journey, whilst respecting that it is ultimately their choice and responsibility to action any change. As professionals, we are supporting Service User’s to be the expert in their own lives by giving them time and space to reflect on their behaviour whilst responding in a way that encourages open communication and exploration. 

There are many forms of resistance that a Service User may demonstrate, and this will be reflective of where they are on their path to change. If they are in the early stages of change, a Service User may blame others for the situations they find themselves in, justify their behaviour, be defensive or critical about the potential for change. A Service User may also demonstrate resistance when their positive actions are not reinforced immediately, or they have to wait for their desired result. 

To be able to overcome resistance, professionals need to understand why the Service User is demonstrating such behaviours. It is important to note that this may be different with each individual and can stem from several different factors. This may include: 

• Guilt / shame  

• Unconscious Biases  

• Bad timing – The service user isn’t ready to change   

• Lack of knowledge about the impact of violence  

• Lack of knowledge of what constitutes abusive behaviour  

• Their own childhood trauma  

• Lack of empathy  

• Fear of being judged  

• Not having a connection with their children  

• Being on their own and isolated  

• Relationship dynamics with professionals 

 It is detrimental to our Service Users to assume that a single method or style of facilitation can be effective for all. A professional is “rolling with resistance” when they are working responsively and collaboratively to elicit a Service User’s own motivations for change. Motivational interviewing offers a structured framework to support this process, often summarised by the acronym ‘OARS’:  

• Open-ended questions: encourages deeper exploration and allows Service User’s to express themselves fully. 

• Affirmations: positive statements that acknowledge a client’s strengths, efforts, or positive qualities, and help build confidence and self-respect for change.  

• Summarising: consolidating learning by linking together what has been spoken about, emphasising important parts of a discussion, clarifying what a Service User has said or ‘wrapping up’ a topic before moving on. 

• Reflections: thoughtful responses which demonstrate understanding and help clarify feelings or ambivalence (e.g. double-sided reflections, like “so on one hand you say you are happy as you are but you said earlier you’ve had enough and want things to change” or emotional reflections, like “It sounds like that’s been quite frustrating for you”).  

Equally important is the professional’s ability to build rapport and trust by setting boundaries and exploring both the healthy and unhealthy aspects of a Service Users past and present behaviour.  

We also need to consider how different cultural norms might influence resistance to change. As professionals, we work with individuals from diverse backgrounds, and it is our responsibility to approach each Service User with cultural sensitivity and adaptability, tailoring our interventions to suit the service users’ specific needs. While it can be challenging to address harmful or abusive behaviours that are rooted in cultural beliefs, it is important that we do not avoid these conversations as culture should never be used to justify abuse. We should support Service Users to recognise when their beliefs or behaviours may be harmful, without judgment. To do this effectively, we must expand our own understanding of the Service User’s cultural context. This allows us to develop discrepancies in their thinking, explore the potential impact of their actions on others, and engage in open, curious conversations that examine the usefulness of certain beliefs. In doing this, we can empower Service Users by helping them understand that while they cannot control others, they are responsible for their own behaviour and choices.